Supporting Men…..
Asking for help isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength
Together For You throughout the month of November are running a campaign to encourage Men to look after their mental health and wellbeing by seeking help early. By asking the question “Are you trying to remain strong and silent?”, Together For You is encouraging men to talk, to ask for help or to simply say to a friend or loved one “I’m not feeling myself”. Together For You is a mental health and wellbeing project funded by the Big Lottery Fund providing services across Northern Ireland.
The stigma that surrounds mental health in addition to the reluctance to admit there is something wrong is quite literally killing men, who are three times more likely to die by suicide than women (77% of those who completed suicide in Northern Ireland between 2005 and 2011 were men). Men are also three times less likely to visit their GP and four times less likely to visit a pharmacist than women (National Statistics, 2015). This stereotypical view that men should remain ‘strong and silent’ needs to change, which this campaign hopes to highlight also. Asking for help isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength!
Speaking out and challenging the stigma of mental health is courageous, and doing so may just help to save not only your life, but the lives of other men who are suffering in agonising, lonely silence.
Dan’s story highlights that help does help……
“I have been in long term depression since 2002. I felt like no one could help as they didn’t understand. This left me isolated even more, which made the spiral downwards worse”
I then asked for help and received 10 weeks of counselling support through the Together For You project with Relate counselling to try and bring about a little awareness and understanding about how to deal with myself on an everyday basis. The counsellors helped by having an impartial view of the situation, teaching me about overcoming any problems by looking down on the problem and not seeing it from one angle only but many different views.
Counselling works but only if you let it. It can’t be used as a tool to prove you are right and the other person is wrong. It is used to be enlightening, to help you see others perceptions and maybe a perception you didn’t think of, hence you are learning about yourself.”
Other men who have been brave and asked for help have said:
“Without help, today I would maybe still be in my bedroom in my parents’ house avoiding the world instead of contributing to it and being part of it”, Michael (Together For You Beneficiary)
“Before getting help I felt frightened, confused, sad, no energy, low self esteem. Now I best describe myself as: happy, confident, high energy, motivated, high self esteem…..Loving Life!”, Jerry (Together For You Beneficiary).
So if you notice that you are feeling more stressed, sad, angry or agitated, feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, overly tired or detached from friends or family, it could be early warning signs of mental ill-health not to be ignored.
Help is available. Pick up the phone or drop us a short email.
Call 028 9032 9150 or email TFY@amh.org.uk or visit www.togetherforyou.org.uk
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Our counsellor was excellent and really helped me and my husband to resolve the niggles in our relationshipService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
My counsellor was lovely, attentive and supportive. She helped me to understand my worth and for that, I will always be gratefulService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
This service is invaluable. Such lovely people to meet and help you through difficult times.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
The service was excellent, my counsellor was really good at getting us to open up and helping us to get to the root of our issues. We have definitely improved our communication since attending.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
I found the Relationship MOT an excellent method of focusing on how we work as a couple and just as importantly, where we need to work. It was professional, insightful and well worth the time. It has reminded us of how much we have to be proud of in our relationship and why it is so important to occasionally review it with experts.Service Attended Relationship MOT
I would definitely recommend using the Relationship MOT service as a bit of a check in with your partner. I thought how the counsellor was able to steer the conversation was very insightful and nuanced. The MOT reminded us about why we are great together but also the importance of communication and respect.” “Our counsellor provided an outside perspective which immediately helped us to agree that we needed to stop and think with more kindness and empathy for each other especially when stressed or pissed off. We both felt that our counsellor’s excellent and gentle facilitation was quite invigorating. So many positives!Service Attended Relationship MOT 2
Very Interesting Content. I like the concept of preparing your relationship before you have problemsService Attended Sustaining Healthy Relationships – Surestart 4
The face to face programme has made me feel connected with others experiencing similar thingsService Attended Sustaining Healthy Relationships – Surestart 3
The workshops made me more confident to balance family life after the baby's arrivalService Attended Sustaining Healthy Relationships – Surestart 2
I now have a better understanding of myself, it is good to know that it is normal to have argumentsService Attended Sustaining Healthy Relationships – Surestart 1
I felt the weekly questionnaire, couples with the counsellor's understanding of my needs help contribute to my own understanding of my mental health and needs throughout.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
I loved every session. Our counsellor listened to what we had to say and gave us helpful wee homework - would recommend this service to everybodyService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
Our counsellor was a fantastic support - we now feel strong enough to continue working on our relationship togetherService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
I had a very good counsellor that helped me through a lot and it has made me come out the other side.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
Counselling took us from a bad place to a good one and I would return if neededService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
Been a lifeline to help us fall in love again - forever grateful!Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I would just like to say that when I first came for counselling I felt that I was drowning. I have completed my sessions and I now feel that I can cope a lot better with everything. Thank you for a brilliant service.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals
Thank you Relate NI for a good nights sleep.Service Attended Relate NI Kids Counselling
Really enjoyed Relate NI and I'm actually going to miss counselling. I Found it helpful to find myself again. Very fair and equal within our relationship.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I appreciated the straightforward, helpful and informed observations about situations. It really helped me cope during Christmas which is a difficult time for usService Attended Family Counselling
The counsellor was very pleasant to meet with. They had the necessary skills to speak and listen when appropriate. I liked their humour and good personality.Service Attended Family Counselling
Relate NI has helped me move on as well as understand myself and situation more. My counsellor listened to me, facilitated me and was compassionate!Service Attended Relate NI Teen Counselling
I felt the weekly questionnaire, coupled with counsellor's understanding of my needs helped contribute to my own understanding of my mental health and needs throughoutService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals
We had four funded sessions and cannot express how grateful we are for the help, guidance and knowledge. Our counsellor was incredibly professional, and her experience and obvious passion for helping couples like us was exceptional. She helped us to understand ourselves and each other like we otherwise never would have been able to.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I have tried counselling many times in the past. This time actually made a difference. I was able to complete online sessions as well as some face to face.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals