Sparking Conversation With Rate My Date NI

Sparking Conversation With Rate My Date NI

For conversation week 2023, Relate NI have teamed up with Rate My Date NI to discuss the importance of having conversations both in a relationship and if you are seeking a relationship. Gerard and Leona run Ratemydateni – a singles events and Matchmaking Company based in Belfast and have shared their thoughts on why conversations are so important. 

Sparking A Conversation With Relate NI & Rate My Date NI

We’re a society that’s “always on” and the art of human conversation is becoming lost in a sea of emojis, swiping right (ask your single friends) and dwindling attention spans. As a result, this can very much have an effect on our relationships as we aren’t getting the human connection that we value so much and need in life.

At times, we may act like we are listening to people. But the reality is that our minds are racing to other topics (what am I making for dinner? I forgot to leave the parcel back to the store…) or we are already planning what we’re going to say to the person in return. Generally, we miss important things that the other person is saying to us and not having a proper conversation with them.

How Can We Improve Communication?

Good communication allows us to build stronger relationships and allows us to express how we are feeling in our relationships, share opinions and expectations. It could be as simple as asking a friend or family member how their day was or what they think of the latest episode of your favourite TV show.

As the organisers of Ratemydateni we know that being able to hold a conversation is an attractive quality when it comes to making a connection. Looks and how attracted you feel towards someone is usually taken care of biologically. Being able to make someone smile or laugh through conversation is a skill that can be practiced and improved.

We find that the people who tend to do well and get the most matches at our events are people who can ask interesting and open ended questions that get the other person thinking and engaged. An example of this could be instead of asking ‘what do you work as’ you could ask ‘what’s your favourite thing about your job?’ which usually results in the other person sharing their job and what they favourite thing about it is.

Although our events are an opportunity to find a relationship we like to remind people that it’s also a perfect opportunity to practice the art of conversation. When it comes to conversation one of the most interesting things about running speed dating events is that people feel they need to be interesting in the 4 minute speed dating window and they then forget the basics such as smiling, keeping eye contact and using body language (such as nodding or acknowledging) to let the other person know that they’re listening.

Whether it’s a conversation with a work colleague, friend, a stranger, your family or your partner; let’s try to have a good conversation someone this week.

Let’s Spark A Conversation;

  • Set 10 minutes aside after dinner with no distractions to have a conversation together.
  • Be respectful and listen to each other.
  • Phones are great sometimes but there is nothing worse than speaking to someone and they are scrolling on their phone- put your phone away!
  • Be curious about who you are speaking to.
  • Your body language can say a lot- open up your body language with good posture. Eye contact is key!
  • Smile- it makes the person you are talking to a lot more comfortable.

Relate NI offer relationship support services that can improve communication and spark conversation;

  • One At A Time Therapy session for that ‘one thing’ in your relationship
  • Relationship MOT
  • Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
  • Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
  • Sex Therapy

Rate My Date NI

Rate My Date NI run singles events and are about to launch a new matchmaking service for singles looking for relationships. You can find all their information and sign up for free over at Ratemydateni.com

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“How Relate NI helps people”

Our counsellor was excellent and really helped me and my husband to resolve the niggles in our relationshipService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
My counsellor was lovely, attentive and supportive. She helped me to understand my worth and for that, I will always be gratefulService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
This service is invaluable. Such lovely people to meet and help you through difficult times.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
The service was excellent, my counsellor was really good at getting us to open up and helping us to get to the root of our issues. We have definitely improved our communication since attending.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
I found the Relationship MOT an excellent method of focusing on how we work as a couple and just as importantly, where we need to work. It was professional, insightful and well worth the time. It has reminded us of how much we have to be proud of in our relationship and why it is so important to occasionally review it with experts.Service Attended Relationship MOT
I would definitely recommend using the Relationship MOT service as a bit of a check in with your partner. I thought how the counsellor was able to steer the conversation was very insightful and nuanced. The MOT reminded us about why we are great together but also the importance of communication and respect.” “Our counsellor provided an outside perspective which immediately helped us to agree that we needed to stop and think with more kindness and empathy for each other especially when stressed or pissed off. We both felt that our counsellor’s excellent and gentle facilitation was quite invigorating. So many positives!Service Attended Relationship MOT 2
Very Interesting Content. I like the concept of preparing your relationship before you have problemsService Attended Sustaining Healthy Relationships – Surestart 4
The face to face programme has made me feel connected with others experiencing similar thingsService Attended Sustaining Healthy Relationships – Surestart 3
The workshops made me more confident to balance family life after the baby's arrivalService Attended Sustaining Healthy Relationships – Surestart 2
I now have a better understanding of myself, it is good to know that it is normal to have argumentsService Attended Sustaining Healthy Relationships – Surestart 1
I felt the weekly questionnaire, couples with the counsellor's understanding of my needs help contribute to my own understanding of my mental health and needs throughout.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
I loved every session. Our counsellor listened to what we had to say and gave us helpful wee homework - would recommend this service to everybodyService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
Our counsellor was a fantastic support - we now feel strong enough to continue working on our relationship togetherService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
I had a very good counsellor that helped me through a lot and it has made me come out the other side.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
Counselling took us from a bad place to a good one and I would return if neededService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
Been a lifeline to help us fall in love again - forever grateful!Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I would just like to say that when I first came for counselling I felt that I was drowning.  I have completed my sessions and I now feel that I can cope a lot better with everything.  Thank you for a brilliant service.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals
Thank you Relate NI for a good nights sleep.Service Attended Relate NI Kids Counselling
Really enjoyed Relate NI and I'm actually going to miss counselling.  I Found it helpful to find myself again. Very fair and equal within our relationship.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I appreciated the straightforward, helpful and informed observations about situations. It really helped me cope during Christmas which is a difficult time for usService Attended Family Counselling
The counsellor was very pleasant to meet with.  They had the necessary skills to speak and listen when appropriate.  I liked their humour and good personality.Service Attended Family Counselling
Relate NI has helped me move on as well as understand myself and situation more.  My counsellor listened to me, facilitated me and was compassionate!Service Attended Relate NI Teen Counselling
I felt the weekly questionnaire, coupled with counsellor's understanding of my needs helped contribute to my own understanding of my mental health and needs throughoutService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals
We had four funded sessions and cannot express how grateful we are for the help, guidance and knowledge. Our counsellor was incredibly professional, and her experience and obvious passion for helping couples like us was exceptional. She helped us to understand ourselves and each other like we otherwise never would have been able to.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I have tried counselling many times in the past. This time actually made a difference. I was able to complete online sessions as well as some face to face.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals

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