Maintaining your Relationship with your Partner

Maintaining your Relationship with your Partner

Relationships aren’t built on the expectation that you’ll be spending all day, every day with that person, so give yourself a break if you’re find it challenging. The key thing to remember is that for now, a new ‘normal’ needs to be developed so that you can both cope with being in such close quarters.

Here are some tips to help make this time a bit smoother:

Maintaining your relationship with your partner

  • Your routines and roles may change if one or both of you are working from home. This could be a challenge or an opportunity so try to make it work for you by checking in regularly about how this is working.
  • If you tend to argue or bicker then accept that you may transfer that onto what you each think about the virus. You may want to take a closer look at our tips on how to deal with arguments and apply these to the situation.
  • You may want to know as much as possible about the situation whereas your partner may prefer to take each day as it comes. Remember that there are many different ways of coping in stressful situations and your way isn’t the only way.
  • Something you usually find irritating about your partner may become useful in a crisis or they may surprise you by how well they are handling things. Let them know how much you appreciate this.
  • Big and difficult conversations may need to be put on hold while you deal with the current situation – this is especially true if one of you is ill or thinks they may have symptoms.
  • If you’ve been arguing with your partner over a particular issue, consider calling a truce during this period to make living under one roof more bearable.
  • You may have elderly parents or other family members with health problems and you may have particular worries about these people.  Try to understand if your partner needs to prioritise these people at the moment.
  • You may need to get creative with the space if you are both working from home. Take turns to share the most comfortable spot.
  • You can leave your house once a day to exercise so try a short walk/run or walking the dog, to give yourself some space and help reduce any tensions. Do continue to follow government guidance and practice social distancing.
  • If you’re not in the same house, get creative about how you stay in touch. For example you could arrange a date night via video messaging where you both eat dinner together, have a glass of wine and chat.
  • If you were having relationship problems already, understand that being together in the same house may bring these to the surface. You may want to consider relationship counselling via webcam to help you work through things.

We’ve also put together some tips for avoiding arguments and conflict:

Avoiding fall-outs

  • Treat each other with kindness especially when the outside world can feel threatening.
  • If you are self-isolating you are likely to have a lot more time on your hands.  Think about how you can use this time in a way that will help the family / you as a couple in the longer term.
  • If you’re getting frustrated with others in the house, it might be an idea to share how you’re feeling by getting in touch with a trusted friend.
  • If somebody says or does something to upset you try counting to ten and taking some deep breaths. It may be you no longer feel the need to ‘react’.
  • Choose your battles and weigh up if they are worth it at this time.
  • Remember that children will learn from how you deal with conflict. Keep this in mind when you are all under one roof together.
  • Understand that with the best will in the world, rows are quite likely in these circumstances. It’s how you deal with them that counts.
  • If you’re being abused or think you could be, make sure you get access to support to stay safe. More on this here.
« »

“How Relate NI helps people”

I felt the weekly questionnaire, couples with the counsellor's understanding of my needs help contribute to my own understanding of my mental health and needs throughout.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
I loved every session. Our counsellor listened to what we had to say and gave us helpful wee homework - would recommend this service to everybodyService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
Our counsellor was a fantastic support - we now feel strong enough to continue working on our relationship togetherService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Couples
I had a very good counsellor that helped me through a lot and it has made me come out the other side.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling for Individuals
Counselling took us from a bad place to a good one and I would return if neededService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
Been a lifeline to help us fall in love again - forever grateful!Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I would just like to say that when I first came for counselling I felt that I was drowning.  I have completed my sessions and I now feel that I can cope a lot better with everything.  Thank you for a brilliant service.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals
Thank you Relate NI for a good nights sleep.Service Attended Relate NI Kids Counselling
Really enjoyed Relate NI and I'm actually going to miss counselling.  I Found it helpful to find myself again. Very fair and equal within our relationship.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I appreciated the straightforward, helpful and informed observations about situations. It really helped me cope during Christmas which is a difficult time for usService Attended Family Counselling
The counsellor was very pleasant to meet with.  They had the necessary skills to speak and listen when appropriate.  I liked their humour and good personality.Service Attended Family Counselling
Relate NI has helped me move on as well as understand myself and situation more.  My counsellor listened to me, facilitated me and was compassionate!Service Attended Relate NI Teen Counselling
I felt the weekly questionnaire, coupled with counsellor's understanding of my needs helped contribute to my own understanding of my mental health and needs throughoutService Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals
We had four funded sessions and cannot express how grateful we are for the help, guidance and knowledge. Our counsellor was incredibly professional, and her experience and obvious passion for helping couples like us was exceptional. She helped us to understand ourselves and each other like we otherwise never would have been able to.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Couples
I have tried counselling many times in the past. This time actually made a difference. I was able to complete online sessions as well as some face to face.Service Attended Adult Relationship Counselling For Individuals

    Reach out to Relate NI






      Get relationship tips by email

      By submitting your details,you are confirming you consent to our processing of
      your personal data. Please see our privacy policy for further details